Hey guys this should have come out last week but
unfortunately I ran out of time to edit it all before I went away for the
weekend to Phuket. So I decided to wait until the end of Week 1 till I released
it, becoming maybe the only retroactive NFL season preview on the web.
Thankfully a lot isn’t set in the NFL after one game so it’s still relevant.
Every year before the start of the NFL season experts and
fans alike create their ‘power rankings’- putting all 32 NFL teams in order,
1-32. To me this is a pointless exercise as such rankings become obsolete very
quickly. The NFL is one of the most
fluid sports competitions in the world when it comes to which teams make the playoffs. Every year five or six teams surprise everybody
by reaching the playoffs, where as teams who are overhyped in the preseason can
ultimately flop.
So instead of
publishing my own power rankings, I thought it might more interesting to categorise
teams in terms of the situations/dilemmas they face going into this year’s competition. Just to make it a little more fun for you
all, I’ve named each category after analogous stars of the music industry. What
better way than to combine two of my favourite pastimes?
Considering the size of the preview and the lack of knowledge
that some of my readers may have this post will just have the music analogies
with the team names listed under. Further posts will have my team by team preseason analysis and then a
quick outlook after Week 1.
Linkin Park Division
Remember when Linkin Park were seen as
one of the most exciting new bands out there? The group’s mix of metal, hip hop
and electronica, combined with strong vocals, made them one of the most popular
bands on the charts in the early 2000’s. Ten years on, they’re still producing
music but there’s been no progression, they haven’t been innovative enough to
stay relevant.
In the same way these three teams have not kept up with the rest of the NFL and in
my opinion, have no hope of competing for a playoff spot this year. All have serious weak points , the only thing
they will be fighting for this year will be who gets the rights to the first
pick in next year’s draft.
Cleveland Browns
Miami Dolphins
Arizona Cardinals
Jack Johnson Division
Now hear me out, I like Jack Johnson’s music. It’s not going
to be innovative and it’s not award winning but it’s not going to be terrible
either, you know what you’re getting with him. The same applies to these four
teams. They aren’t going to be in the playoffs this year but they will be
better than last year. They are rebuilding teams which are a couple of years
away from competing.
Minnesota Vikings
Jacksonville Jaguars
St Louis Rams
Oakland Raiders
Black Eyed Peas + Fergie Division
Many people don’t remember that The Black Eyed Peas formed a
full ten years before they added a female lead singer and surprised everyone by
becoming an international hip-hop sensation. Before Fergie joined them the
Black Eyed Peas were a good group but with her they became exponentially more successful.
Sometimes a team only needs a change in one key position to lift the team
significantly. These next five teams have all made changes which will make them
improve in both the short term and the long term.
Indianapolis Colts
Washington D.C
Carolina Panthers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tennessee Titans
Maroon 5 Division
Maroon 5 is currently rated as one of the best pop rock
bands and I can’t figure out for the life of me why? Maybe it’s teenage girl
market or they move like Jagger? In the same way these following teams are overhyped
for one reason or the other and are likely to disappoint the average fan who
thinks there the best thing since sliced bread.
Denver Broncos
Dallas Cowboys
San Diego Chargers
Gangnam Style Division
Now if you have somehow missed the South Korean pop
sensation check this out.
The most hyped music artist on the
planet, many people are talking about him right now. The same goes for these
next three teams, trendy picks to be a surprise this year and reach the
playoffs. Whether they can do that remains to be seen.
Seattle Seahawks
Buffalo Bills
Kansas City
Jet Division
Every so often there are bands/artists who come out with a
hugely successful debut album. The Australian band Jet are a great example. Their
album Get Born, released in 2003,sold
over 3.5 million copies worldwide and made them household names with songs like
‘Rollover DJ’, ‘Cold Hard Bitch’ and ‘Are You Going To Be My Girl’.
Their follow up albums though have been commercial flops and they have never
made it to the heights. In the same way these two teams made the playoffs last
year and have high hopes to replicate that this year but I see them underachieving this year.
Detroit Lions
Cincinaati Bengals
Madonna Division
Not many pop artists have stayed as relevant for so long as
Madonna has done. Reinventing her sound as the decades go past she is finally
fading into memory. These two teams have been consistently playoff relevant
over the past five or so years year’s but the times are a changing.
NY Jets
Pittsburgh Steelers
Amy Winehouse Division
No musician encapsulates this next group of teams better
then Amy Winehouse. Winehouse was a brilliant artist, a multiple Grammy award
winner and pop sensation. However her bouts of substance abuse affected her musical
development and ultimately were her fatal flaw. In the same way these teams all
have brilliant facets to their games but they all have at least one serious
flaw that needs to be addressed for them to win the Super Bowl.
Philadelphia Eagles
San Francisco 49er’s
Atlanta Falcons
Chicago Bears
Houston Texans
U2 Division
Whether you like them or not you have to admire U2’s longevity
and consistency. The same goes for these three teams who all have critics going
into this season for various reasons. They will inevitably be in the running
for the playoffs whether you like it or not though.
New Orleans Saints
Baltimore Ravens
NY Giants
Jimi Hendrix Division
Ask the average person ‘Who’s the greatest electrical guitarist ever?’ the
name that will come up the most is Jimi Hendrix. The same is for these two
teams coming into this season, these two had outstanding seasons last year but ultimately
short. I think they are the heavy favourite to get to the Super Bowl in their
respective conferences and ultimately face off for the Super Bowl. Of course I
will be wrong but hey- it’s not a science!
Green Bay Packers
New England Patriots
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